If You Hit Once, You Hit Again

When thinking about Yeardley Love death's that title says it for me. It is a quote by a counselor/therapist at UNC-Charlotte by Dr. Lisa Brandyberry around 1995-1996 period. She said this at a forum about domestic violence among college students. Looking at her, she seemed to know what she was talking about. She was very obese then but it seemed more out of pain than negligence. I think it took place at a dorm room or an events center. Can't remember anything else but that quote.

I couldn't even tell you if it was mostly men or women at that seminar. I think I was invited by the another counselor, not sure. Here I was being angry not being able to get a date much less a girlfriend. Now, I'm hearing this lecture. My family and others who "know me" think I'm a nice guy but the girls then and now think I was a creep. I was thinking to myself and laughing, "ha, ha" you all got beaten by the cool and acceptable guys but not by me. My mind blasted back to the past concerning family members, female acquaintances, and associates. I smiled inside for a bit. Then, Lisa gave a stern, indirect look and said those magic words.

Yeah, she was talking to me too. She mentioned that no matter how soft or what the motive of the other person, if you hit, you will hit again. She wasn't concerned about being aggravated or wanting to control somebody. I tried to block it off by thinking "I would only hit a person when aggravated." But, she wouldn't have it. She said it, again and again.

As for Yeardley, her coach said about her "being great without trying to be." Yet, she only started 3 games in her senior year compared to 9 games, her junior year. It indicates to me that the coach knew about her relationship with George and that it was affecting her play. A good player is supposed to get better from freshmen to senior year and that never happened to Yeardley. This happens to players who have injuries, maturity issues or is a star player on a bad team. But Yeardley didn't seem to have injuries, issues, and was not a star. Yet as a senior, the coach put her on the defense coming off the bench.

I'm not blaming the coach because this has happened to me. My main point, I think had Lisa given the lecture to the team before all this, she would have educated both the women and the men lacrosse teams including George. He may not have changed but the coach and Yeardley probably would have taken action, sooner. Likewise, maybe George would have benefited from her seminar because it sure benefited me.